Lack of Understanding


Are you done with your partner?

Have all your efforts to resolve your marital issue gone in vain?

“A great marriage is not when the perfect couple comes together. It is when an imperfect couple learns to enjoy the differences.”

Understanding is the true essence of marriage. The couple takes an oath of living and being together forever. As the days pass by the different habits, behaviours, lifestyles need to be understood rather than complaining and fighting. It is the skill of understanding in a couple which works wonderfully to build the plinth of marriage.

As a freelance trainer for the last 26 years and a marriage coach for the last 4 years, I can tell you I have come across so many couples who love each other even after the divorce, but repent on their decision. What they lacked was the understanding between each other in their marital journey.

My question is, “ Does the repentance work later on?” Well-adjusted couples work and learn to understand each other's primary habits, needs and try to accept the different perspective. It is not a day’s work, but you must understand to take necessary actions. And then the process takes you to make your marriage happy. When one of the partners says, “I am done with you'' means that I love you, but I am unable to understand you.” And here the main issue lies in nurturing your marriage. According to my experience, out of total cases filed for divorce, 50% cases could be saved only with the help of prioritizing understanding in a relationship.

Reasons of failure:

To nurture the marriage we require love, trust, security. And to achieve this, first you need to understand each other thoroughly. A person who behaves in one way in any situation does not behave the same in another situation. So, it becomes very tricky for the other partner to understand the root nature of his spouse.

Nowadays in the instant gratification world, millennial couples are not ready to keep patience, give quality time to understand and most of them opt for easy solutions such as avoiding each other, separation and finally breaking the relationship.

Is this the real base on which your marriage is built?

Smart steps to build understanding in today’s marriage:

Listen to each other at the right time with patience.

Have courage for effective communication to resolve tough issues.

Check your words and tonality. It may hurt your partner’s feelings.

Accept the imperfections of your partner.

Prioritize your partner who is facing the current challenge and support him to come out of it.

This will increase the trust level in a couple.

Think and act accordingly !!!

You need to develop an art of understanding…it will definitely design your relationship happily and healthy. Agree that you cannot prioritize your marriage at the cost of your own life, your self-esteem, self-confidence and individuality but also check whether you are putting enough smart efforts by investing your true emotions, time and priority. The more time you remain in confusion and/ or keep nagging, it starts creating a gap in your special relationship. Separation can never be the first option.... I completely understand and appreciate your earlier efforts but if those efforts have not given you the expected results then it’s a high time you need to take new action to get the new result. I sincerely request you to seek help, don’t feel shy. No matter how much damage has been done, ask yourself… “Does my marriage deserve one last chance?”.... If the answer is yes… take the charge and reignite the missing love.

It will make the relationship exciting and fun loving in a new way.

Kehete sunte baato baato mein pyaar ho jayega...

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With utmost curiosity to learn & understand about millennial relationships, I made my way to Canada! Initially my purpose was to meet coaches / therapists / counsellors and visit marriage & family cen