Lack of Patience


It becomes difficult in routine life, especially when you find your husband keeps his things in mess even after 100 reminders or your wife goes and attends her friends’ parties four times a week, nowadays off course online and seems to be non attentive towards home.

But being impatient is never a solution. These situations, if handled with patience, can create ease in a relationship rather than a fight.

Patience is defined as a capacity to accept the delay, or problem without becoming annoyed. It is another aspect a married couple needs to learn and implement in their marriage to be happy.

The role of patience in marriage:

Patience plays a key role in your married life. Your daily activities give you ample opportunities to learn the art of patience. It is not a virtue everyone gets by birth, but it is a virtue to be imbibed by choice.

Becoming patient is a process every married individual must go through. It requires a great sense of understanding. Once you try to understand your partner's needs, you automatically develop your level of patience. Therefore it is said ,"Patience makes your marriage successful."

In today’s fast world of instant gratification, you have to run in a race and be almost alert in all walks of your life. As the corporate culture demands targets, playing number games and cutthroat competition, patience plays a major role in the marital relationship.

Reasons for impatience:

Due to overuse of technology you have become machines and machines never stop unless manual interference occurs. Same way, patience needs to be worked with a conscious choice in your relationship, may be at your workplace or your married life. Patience provides you solutions with peaceful results. Impatience causes stress, worry, challenges, difficulties, but patience exactly provides you happiness, joy, fun and strength in a relationship.

Key to apply patience in marriage:

A tree is a perfect symbol of patience. Growth requires a lot of patience. To give you an example, a batsman has to stay in pitch for a while to score a century. Similarly for creating love in a marriage an investor i.e. you need to stay in a relation for a long term.

A relationship is built because you both loved each other eternally. When there is love, there is also the value of understanding and respect. Every individual is different, his/her perspective to look at things can also be different. Both the partners must understand the different perspective of each other and start respecting it. Patience plays an important role in marriage. When you patiently listen to your partner’s view, you are more likely to understand and accept it. Even if you disagree, you keep patience and later communicate it with your partner.

Let’s take one example. One client’s husband called me & told me, My wife always fights, argues with me on little things, whenever I am going for important work. '' I feel nervous and do not feel like coming back home.” This couple has been married for 11 years.The wife is always asking her husband to resolve the issue immediately without thinking about his job hours and intensity of his work. Here if the wife applies patience and avoids the impromptu actions , her husband would feel happier. She can raise disagreements once they both are in a settled mood. Her open and soft communication can make him listen to her pain seriously and more likely he will take action and bring a positive change in his behaviour.

Finally, I can say that Patience is the key to love, happiness and peace in marriage.

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With utmost curiosity to learn & understand about millennial relationships, I made my way to Canada! Initially my purpose was to meet coaches / therapists / counsellors and visit marriage & family cen