Lack of Communication


Is Your partner an introvert?

Do you face challenges in communicating with your spouse?

Are you facing a silent marriage?

Even after putting in a lot of efforts with open communication, everything has gone in vain till now….

Have you experienced this situation?

I am sure you can relate yourself with these questions. Here I would like to say that your relationship is going through a communication gap.

Communication - What does this term mean?

While it may sound self-explanatory, surprisingly, you may not know it in its true sense. True communication is when two people who genuinely talk to each other, can truly understand what the other is saying, while empowering each other at the same time. Sounds like a tough bet? Let’s look at some examples.

Imagine your eight-year-old child is depressed. What would you do? Would you try talking to her, understand her issues and get her the help she needs, or would you ignore it and hope the problem resolves itself? Children are born with their own soul power, but it gets diminished and buried over years of expectations and pressures. Hence, it’s up to us to make sure it stays as intact as possible. How about your spouse? Marriages are built on understanding, trust and a lot of acceptance. But if the foundation is shaking, would you take time to really talk to each other off course not openly but effectively and find a solution, or would you hope that it would slowly go away? What about your workplace? In the corporate space, people work with machines so much so that they tend to lose track of personal relationships.

These are just some instances, but in every moment in your life, you will face issues, pressures; both external and internal, and situations that will truly challenge you. The trick here is always to create your own equations, whatever you may be doing. You are always in charge of your own story.

Communication in marriage is a skill, it is an art you need to develop over the period of time. Nobody is born as a natural communicator. Effective and good communication is a key to improving your relationship.

Let us see how happy couples communicate differently than unhappy ones.When thoughts and feelings flow smoothly between married couples, it's fun, feels good, and creates a comfort level between them. However, when communication flow is turbulent, it's potentially dangerous and destructive. And when communication gets blocked, pressure builds up. That is the cold war situation. Not a single partner is interested in breaking the ice. After a gap of 1-2 days/weeks, when the words start flowing again, they tend to come out suddenly damaging the relationship.

Because many married couples struggle with healthy communication, especially about important issues, it’s easy for couples to avoid difficult conversations.

Let us see the reasons behind this communication gap:

  1. The upbringing of a spouse plays a big role in building his or her personality.

  2. Any past incident where your partner might have been pressured not to speak or open up, your spouse might have developed such a pattern of remaining silent rather than getting insulted.

  3. Influence of parents or parental pressure might have affected his communicating ability, Even though he wanted to talk, he was not allowed to do so.

  4. In a hasty marriage, the partners lack effective communication, addressing the fears and insecurities and focus more on celebrating the five days of extravaganza. This signals one spouse to remain silent, even though he or she wants to communicate further to build a bond in their new relationship.

Let us see How lack of communication affects your relationship:

  1. One spouse wants to chat, try to speak, explain or take interest in communication, while the other does not have the habit of replying and prefers to remain silent. This situation furiates the talkative spouse and the unrest begins.

  2. The new relationship which you have created by your own choice becomes dry and you face a silent marriage.

  3. This affects your family members and unknowingly, they initiate to resolve your marital issue, which further might develop into parental interference.

  4. This long gap of communication affects mostly physical relationships because even though you are attracted to each other physically, if there is no emotional connection, you will not be able to add romance while enjoying it.

  5. Sometimes the introverted partner gets irritated by his or her expressive partner's questions, and then chatter so much that the open communication is started by the so-called silent partner. This leads to agitation, blunt, over expressive comment and the extrovert partner feels hurt. This is one of the common effects I have observed in dealing with most of the cases.

Try to understand your spouse’s pattern of communication.

To know more you can go through my YouTube channel and watch this video; The Language of Millennial Marriage https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uN2Vlq-fyQk.

In case your partner is an introvert or more silent, this empathy towards him/ her will help you to resolve the current issue. Rather than open communication, start effective communication. What to speak, what not to speak, how to speak and when to speak, matters a lot. Words even though used unintentionally, hurt your spouse. Use your words consciously.

In your conversation, take turns sharing what is most troubling to you. Do not dismiss your partner’s concerns or try to fix them. Instead think of listening as an opportunity to know your partner better.Your partner is looking for a listener.

I completely understand what you are going through currently. How about having a fresh start? I sincerely request you to acknowledge the above tips and work on bridging the communication gap. A high time to introspect ourselves.In case you face any challenge, feel free to reach out for help.

Remember:

Speak in such a way that your Husband loves to Listen to you !!!

Listen in such a way that your Husband loves to Speak to you !!!

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With utmost curiosity to learn & understand about millennial relationships, I made my way to Canada! Initially my purpose was to meet coaches / therapists / counsellors and visit marriage & family cen