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Is Wedding Your Priority...Not Marriage?

The marriage durability is diminishing day by day…seriously?

Let me share a Marriage story here. Rasika (name changed) got married to a Suitable match after settling down in her career. The couple invested almost 2 crores in 5 days of extravaganza. Within 10 days, Rasika returned to her parent's place because of the frictions, lack of understanding, and lack of patience.

This millennial couple hired a wedding planner... but, not a marriage planner. The couple almost invested a lot in their wedding - just for one day, but not in their long term relationship... marriage. The sessions began and within three weeks she came back realizing that separation can't be the first option. Giving up is easy. Holding on requires patience. She put the right efforts and saved her marriage and admitted that the Wedding was her priority and not Marriage. Like Rasika, there are many more who just don't know the techniques to deal with these marital issues.

All the couples marry in pursuit of happiness. Marriage is the union of two energies. Love binds these two energies together forever and the couple promises to be with each other. Once the wedding as a celebration wave with 5 days of extravaganza passes, this millennial couple starts experiencing the issues related to habits, behaviour, nature, in-laws, and the lifestyle. The couple who married for love, happiness suddenly becomes confused, disturbed, hurt, and aggressive. This also has a great impact on the couple’s sex life. Eventually, they repent to some extent on their decision. This is the result of Impatience, fear, and insecurity. It takes a minimum of 2-3 years to build a basic understanding and acceptance in a relationship.

Those who are unmarried and want to select the right partner here are some things to keep in mind before tying the knot:

  1. Emotional Compatibility

  2. The Courage To Accept The Differences

  3. The Purpose Of Marriage.

Always remember that independence doesn’t work in Marriage. It's always the interdependence which helps you to build your marriage. Those who are newly married and also whose marriageSHIP is going through the rough waters, here are some helpful points that I would like to share:

  1. Being emotional is not wrong, but gaining emotional maturity is important.

  2. Once the celebration wave of the wedding passes by, take the charge of accepting and understanding your partner... it's your responsibility. "Why me only, not him?" Don't bring your ego in this please. you need to resolve and move ahead.

  3. Communicate - Effective communication is the key to clear confusion in marriage.

  4. Falling in love and being loved by someone is bliss, but not at the cost of your self-respect.

  5. Prioritize your spouse & family, but never lose your individuality. Your actions should not allow your spouse to take you for granted.

  6. Train your spouse on how you want to be treated and do vice versa.

My request to all those who are reading this, who are in love and got married in pursuit of happiness - The above mentioned are some common points which will elevate your married life and improve the quality of your life.

Be smart! Be wise! Agree that you cannot prioritize your marriage at the cost of your own life, your self-esteem, self-confidence, and individuality but also check whether you are putting enough smart efforts by investing your true emotions, time, and priority. The more time you remain in confusion and/or keep nagging, it starts creating a gap in your special relationship. Separation can never be the first option.

I completely understand and appreciate your earlier efforts but if those efforts have not given you the expected results then it’s a high time you need to take new action to get the new result. I sincerely request you to seek help, don’t feel shy. No matter how much damage has been done, you need to roll up your sleeves, take the charge and reignite the missing love.

About Leena Paranjpe

Leena Paranjpe, India's Only Millennial Marriage Coach, Speaker, and Author of "Detox Your Marriage" has been coaching couples for 20+ Years. Marriage to her has always been a pure and beautiful bond shared by two individuals. Leena works to help millennial couples in distress and coach them to aim at Relationship Goals for a better future.

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With utmost curiosity to learn & understand about millennial relationships, I made my way to Canada! Initially my purpose was to meet coaches / therapists / counsellors and visit marriage & family cen